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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 10:30 am
 


Once there was a little girl, who lived on a farm. She was a happy kid, a smart kid.

One day she decided to play with matches. Her Mom came in and she quickly hid the lit match behind her back. This caught her crinelin on fire, whereas she ran around the house screaming in agony and terror. Her mother rolled her until the fire went out and took her to the hospital with third degree burns all up her legs and inbetween.

The Hospital covered her in goose grease and left her to continue screaming and crying in agony. Once inawhile a nurse would come in and say "Be quiet or I'll spank your burn.". She wet the bed, and noone was there quick enough to clean it, causing it to burn her injured legs.
At the time, in the fifites, parents wern't allowed to visit as they are now. He mother was with her sparingly.

They laid her by the kitchen, wide open for the world to see, naked and lying on her back. The cook couldn't handle the screaming, so she'd go in and rock her without suiting up. This caused staph infection where she found herself being shipped to Edmonton for 20 more days of isolation and pain.

Somewhere in there, her mind snapped. Her big sister came to visit her from Hairdressing school and found a wild eyed little girl (like a deer) lying alone and naked in a public place, already well developed as the family grew quickly for their age.

The family claims that she was the never the same after that. She went crazy. She grew up and had a few children. The oldest stayed with her mother for two years and had a good life. A sweet, cherub faced redheaded little boy. Her mother took him on as her own and became quite attached.

Until she came back and demanded him as her own. That day, she took him away from the only home and mother he knew and replaced his life with abuse and cruelty.

Something happened in that hospital that caused her to become very cruel. If the kids had colds she'd wake them up and shove vicks up their nose and down their throat....she would lock them in the basement, beat them with boards and burn them with cigarettes. She'd make them eat to little or to much, never a normal meal.

The little boy came back to Grandma a different kid. Somewhere along the line he had snapped as his mother had years before. The once happy, cherub faced free loving little boy was now a terrified teen with pop bottle glasses that would sit, stiff, with his hands crossed and his head down for fear that his mother might 'catch him' making a move. She told them to sit and that's what they have to do.

This boy grew up to strapping 6'7, 250 pound man. He moved back in with his Grandma promptly, but things had changed. When I'd dress I'd turn around and find the door slightly ajar. He had become, well, wierd. Then we caught him one day. He was molesting his three year old neice downstairs while we sat and had coffee.

For this, he went to jail where he was diagnosed as a pedophile and incurable sociopath. They kept him for five years and let him out.

The little girl grew up. She is now anerexic and an overacheiver. Doing well for herself, but a mess inside.

He has scammed Grandma out of pretty well all of the grandchildrens inheritance money, to the tune of 100,000 dollars, for fake college courses and emergencies. If he did a forty dollar job, he'd say it was four hundred.

So there you have it. A true story about how one persons actions towards another can set off an unprecedented chain of events throughout three generations.

I always wondered why she was so cruel. It was the one thing I never got. How could she be so cruel to her babies??? I heard this story, of her and her burns, while I was at Grandpa's farm and it changed my outlook a little. That poor girl! What a horrid, dehumanizing, traumatic experiance to lay in your own piss, covered in burns, naked before the world with no curtain to hide yourself. The only comfort when a nurse comes in suited up and then threatens to spank your burn if you don't shuttup.

All this at eight years old.

So, where does one assign blame? Do we blame her for being cruel to her kids? Do we blame him for molesting a child? Or, do we blame those F'ING NURSES!!!!

I'm opting for the nurses. If they had treated her with kindness, none of this would have taken place.

So there. I've said it. REmember this people. Be good to others. :cry:


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 12:43 pm
 


You're saying you don't blame the guy for molesting a little girl?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:38 pm
 


Blue_Nose wrote:
You're saying you don't blame the guy for molesting a little girl?
Thats about all i got out of it to BN.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:13 pm
 


Blue_Nose wrote:
You're saying you don't blame the guy for molesting a little girl?


Fuck no!!! You've got that all wrong. He's been pretty well shut out of the family and for good reason! We only wished they had kept him in jail indefinately. Noone can change him, noone can change the past. It's hard to totally hate him knowing what he went through as a child. Of course, that's probably nothing new when dealing with a demented mind.

It would have saved alot of trouble if he had just stayed in jail. My point is, when one really thinks about it, the chain of events created the monster.

It's sad to think that my family has to put up with all this shit, and go through all this pain, and have the constant conflict regarding her and him, all over what a hospital did so many years ago.

Is that more clear?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:18 pm
 


the blame goes to all the peoole who did bad things....they still had choices to make....they are not robots made of flesh, and they didn't HAVE to do bad things. sure, they are victims of abuse but that isn't the whole story. bad things can cause people to repeat that to other people but they have to choose that.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:25 pm
 


Mr_Canada wrote:
8O

Holy shit.. :( That's horrible.



I was recently at my grandfathers funeral (natural death, he was ready to pass on) and I was told this story. It was so sad to hear. I never understood it, kwim? Even though I hated him for what he did, at least I could understand what made him that way. With her, I didn't know. We cousins always greatly resented her and feared her. We always told stories about that horrible woman and kept our children at a distance. They had to be polite to her, but they knew...........

With big families there's so many little things......with mine anyway- when you add it all together.

I just felt the need to share this story, not because it's so horrid, but because it says something about the systems we have in place. She was, lets face it, abused in that hospital. Years later, she creates and abuser who is actually diagnosed as incurable and he's out in five years????

What the fuck is that? It just keeps going. The string of events.

Anytime I think of this guy, I wonder if he's behaving. How many times will it take before they just throw them in a cage and throw away the key?

We wouldn't mind.........

Even though we know about this, and get the odd pangs of soft feelings when around him, we'd still rather never see the son of a bitch again. The only reason we do is because Grandma loves him soooo much and blames herself for giving him back. If we really did and said everything we wanted to him, she'd have a stroke.

Actually, he'd be in a pretty bad position because the only thing holding the boy cousins back from serving pioneer justice is her.

Why can't I just have a normal, boring family? Whenever I go to tell a story or vent it comes out as so dramatic in comparison! I've been disbeleived at times. Maybe it's the writing........ :?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:32 pm
 


Indelible wrote:
the blame goes to all the peoole who did bad things....they still had choices to make....they are not robots made of flesh, and they didn't HAVE to do bad things. sure, they are victims of abuse but that isn't the whole story. bad things can cause people to repeat that to other people but they have to choose that.


Except studies have shown that pedophiles are incurable with strong urges. He's a created, bonified fuck up. I don't know how the system can render him incurable and then let him out........

Sure he has choices, but I can guarantee he wouldn't have made those choices had he not been abused so horribly.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:35 pm
 


not sure if i can agree with that


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:41 pm
 


Indelible wrote:
not sure if i can agree with that


That's what studies have recently said. He's just like that. Why not shoot him then?

Why would they say that a pedophile can't be cured and then let them out of jail?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:11 pm
 


that doesn't make sense either


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:42 pm
 


Indelible wrote:
that doesn't make sense either


How so? I pose the question "how could they deem him incurable and then let him out" and you say it doesn't make sense?

I thought that was a perfectly feasible question.......


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 5:51 pm
 


lily got it...letting him out doesn't make sense. that's what i meant.
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I read it as saying he agrees with you... it doesn't make sense they'd let him out.


An abusive past doesn't excuse anyone's behaviour... too many people grew up in the most horrible situations and made it a point not to repeat the cycle. However... perhaps by understanding what creates abusers and pedophiles, we can figure out ways to get these people help when they need it... and maybe we won't end up with another generation of victims.


Even in the mid-60s parents weren't allowed to visit their children in the hospital. It was felt that a daily separation (abandonment) would be far harder on the child than one long absence. Fortunately this train of thought has been replaced... now parents are even allowed to sleep in their child's hospital room. Another bonus... siblings are also allowed to visit. In the early '70s, you had to be 12.

R=UP


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:17 pm
 


lily wrote:
I read it as saying he agrees with you... it doesn't make sense they'd let him out.


An abusive past doesn't excuse anyone's behaviour... too many people grew up in the most horrible situations and made it a point not to repeat the cycle. However... perhaps by understanding what creates abusers and pedophiles, we can figure out ways to get these people help when they need it... and maybe we won't end up with another generation of victims.


Even in the mid-60s parents weren't allowed to visit their children in the hospital. It was felt that a daily separation (abandonment) would be far harder on the child than one long absence. Fortunately this train of thought has been replaced... now parents are even allowed to sleep in their child's hospital room. Another bonus... siblings are also allowed to visit. In the early '70s, you had to be 12.


Ohhhh! My bad for being overly defensive. :lol:

I'm glad things have changed in the past 50 years. I don't think there's a woman alive ( a totally sane one anyway) that would wish to live in the past. People have figured things out. Noone would have ever treated me that way. I went to Childrens Hospital as a kid, and it was nothing but good experiances with the nurses and staff. They were all really nice, as I remember it. My mom was always with me, too. My husband, on the other hand, experianced the isolation and meanness three years in a row with Pnemonia. Although he didn't go crazy or anything like that. He's okay.

I guess some people are stronger then others. I don't excuse what they did. I'm just trying to understand it. It's just so sad.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:31 pm
 


's all good :D


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 6:40 am
 


Mr_Canada wrote:
Actually, now that I think about it.....

DON'T PLAY WITH MATCHES!



No Shit! :D


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