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Would you read a story like this?
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Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Would you read a story like this?

I have in store about 5 books that I want to write......All basically fantasy novels but focus on many real-life issues.....

Book 1: A Stranger comes to a strange land...Eventually comes to be the Sojourner....a warrior as told in their prophecies.....

Book 2: The Sojourner, becomes a thorn in the increasingly corrupt government....Civil war breaks out......

Book 3: An untold evil is unleashed upon the land, and it is up to the Sojourner to face this threat.....and his personal demons....

Book 4: An empire has risen in the Far East....Focus in on Soldiers and their struggles.....

Book 5: Second war, more deadly, pretty everything you could imagine is in this one......

I know these are very vagues, but on a general idea, would you read a book about this stuff?

Author:  hamiltonguyo [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:04 pm ]
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I guess...depends on how they were written...

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:11 pm ]
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All of them are very descriptive, dark, and gory as hell........I have a chapter I use to drive a point across.....

"....As Aya desperately tried to reach the screaming child, she was struck down by a Hand*. And as the building burned, the Hand approached the crib that carried the screaming child, drew his sword, and slew the child......The baby issued a sharp draw of breath, but was soon ended by another strike from the Hand..."

One of many of dark parts in my books.....And I know it needs editing.... :wink:

* A Hand is an elite soldier loyal only to the corrupt Emperor.....No one else...A Hand does the Emperor's bidding, no questions asked.....

But yeah.....In all books, at least a third of the main Characters die....

And of the really important characters, by book 5, half of them are dead....

Author:  canucker [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:17 pm ]
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Maybe killing off main characters is shocking, and that's your intentions, but wouldn't it make it harder to follow the flow of the story if so many main characters die off?

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:21 pm ]
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canucker canucker:
Maybe killing off main characters is shocking, and that's your intentions, but wouldn't it make it harder to follow the flow of the story if so many main characters die off?

Not really....the essential main characters are still alive.....But a main character from book one, who helps the Sojourner on his journey, and helps him hide in Book, and is essential to the first book, and not so muc in the second, is killed in the second book......

The only truly important character who will be in four of five books, is seen in the opening chapter of book one, but dies in book four......He was the first friend the Sojourner makes, one of his fellow adventurers, he helped him in the civil war, fought along side him many times, becomes a trusted general, but is finally killed off in the Siege of Atairna.....I didn't want to kill him off, but it makes sense to...for reasons unyet reavealed by me...

Author:  canucker [ Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:24 pm ]
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It seems to me you have the whole story (books) planned out. Have you begun writing them at all yet? And if so, how far have you gotten with your book writing process?

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:19 am ]
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I have Chapters 1-3 done for book 1, chapters 1-2 of book 2, and I just started writing the first chapter for book 3...

Author:  fatbasturd [ Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:30 am ]
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Sounds a lot like the Gunslinger (Dark Tower I)Roland

Author:  bootlegga [ Wed Mar 08, 2006 12:58 pm ]
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canucker canucker:
Maybe killing off main characters is shocking, and that's your intentions, but wouldn't it make it harder to follow the flow of the story if so many main characters die off?

It works in 24...

As for whether or not I would read this would depend on the first book. I really like Feist and Brooks, and if your book was similar, then I'd likely read the whole series, but if its too dark are gory, I might not find it interesting.

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:36 pm ]
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Book 1 is adventure quest type thing....Think Lord of the Rings....

Book 2 = pretty dark

Book 3 = Really really dark

Book 4 = focus on emotions of soldiers on both sides of war.....

Book 5 = whole lotta shit goes down........

Author:  ThePolitician [ Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:44 am ]
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Hey, aren't you supposed to be in Cuba?? Or at least gettin ready to go??

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:20 pm ]
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Here's Chapter three. A very short chapter, and only really a taste of what the book is. I'll write another chapter for you guys that happens during the civil war.



Mero began his long walk back home. As he left the white gates, a strong wind rushed past him. This was normal of course, for the walls of Adrianople protected most of the city from the constant winds coming in from the ocean. The wind impeded his progress, but only slightly. He pressed on against the wind. As he reached the top of a nearby hill, he saw that the sun's light was quickly fading into darkness. Twilight was coming, which meant that the thieves would be out soon. A few minutes down the road, Mero saw a roadside guard. These guards were stationed at certain areas to discourage thievery in areas around cities. Usually assigned to these boring tasks by either the city guard, or the local garrison. As Mero approached the guards, he noticed that they were local city guards. He could tell by their ornate and gold-plated armour and elongated helmets, synonymous with the Acacian Guard. One of them approached him.

"Halt, citizen of Archenland." He said, "Name and place of residence if you please."

Mero told him his name and how he lives just up the road.

"Very well. But be careful. Our scouts report heightened mysterious activity in the past two days."

Mero continued on his way back home to his family. He could begin to smell cooked fish. He was almost home. Off in the distance, he could see a small house with light coming from it. Home. As he drew closer, he could hear his children playing in their field, with their dog barking wildly, trying to get in on the fun. To the west, he saw that the sun had now completely set, with its orange glow slowly being choked into submission by the darkening sky. His children soon saw him, and rushed out to him. He hugged them lovingly, and gave a warm smile. And as he proceeded to the house, he saw the silhouette of his wife standing in the doorway. She smiled and gave him a kiss, and took his cloak from him. He entered the house, had his usual look around, cracked his back, sighed, and sat down his favourite chair. His daily ritual.

"So," his wife began. "What did Rael want to talk to you about?"

"Oh, nothing much." He replied. "Just his usual antics. He thinks that the government has turned evil." He gave a chuckle, the kind that a man of logic gives when he finds an idea laughable.

"Well, you know he's like that. Remember that time he tried to get you to go along with his on his search for Emperor Varo's tomb?"

"I know, I know." Said Mero. "He really needs to get a grip on reality. But he is a politician after all."

"Well, you're home now," she said. "By the way, my sister Ara is staying with us tonight. She had no desire to stay in an Inn, and her boat for Alohonora leaves tomorrow."

"Well, It is only one night. But you know how much she irritates me. Always going on about how I need to get a real job. Spoiled brat doesn't realise that fishing is a real job out here."

"Well," she said, with a hint of anger. "I've learned to put up with her for 27 years. I think you can put up with her for one night."

Mero knew he would never win this argument with his wife. Much less any other. He noticed that there was something about women that enabled them to win any argument. This irked Mero, because his wife, whose name was Jaya, always supported her sister, and managed to support him aswell. Ara was indeed, however, a spoiled brat. Having been the youngest in her family, she was always paraded around as the adorable and innocent little Ara. And she always got what she wanted. The fact that she married a First Lord of House Acacia, did nothing to remedy that situation. Now, she really did get everything she wanted. Having been raised in Volura she was quite arrogant of the fact that along Archenland's coast, fishermen, sea-faring merchants and naval members were warranted the same social status and respect as the Nobles. In the east, where Mero lived, inlanders were seen as pompous and ignorant fools who looked down their noses at easterners. This mainly stems from the fact that easterners are the ones who have to defend everyone else from attacks. And being looked down upon by inlanders instead of being thanked by them, angered many easterners.

Mero looked around the room. Jaya was setting the dining room table that was across the room from Mero, while the kids were jumping around outside. He could see them through the window above the dining room table. To his right, a warm, cackling fire roared in the fireplace; the flames licking the logs greedily. To his left, was the common room with the stairs leading upstairs. And to the left of that, lay the kitchen, with delightful aromas emanating from it.

"What's for dinner?" He asked.

"Nothing you'd like." She teased.

"Oh come on, what is it?" he pleaded.

"Grilled Argua with greens from the garden, you're favourite."

"I love you so much." He said. She laughed.

She called the kids in, and on her way to the kitchen, said: "Sister dearest, dinner is ready." And the monster that is the sister-in-law descended. Ara looked strikingly similar to her sister except for the fact that she had blonde hair, while Jaya had brown hair. They were both thin, and had slightly crooked noses. Another difference that set them apart, was their attitude. Jaya was always more simple and suttle, whereas Ara always made it a point of hers to make walking into a room a theatrical presentation. As she cleared the staircase, she caught sight of Mero. She gave a great big smile, and threw her arms out in a hug that looked more like she was trying to fly.

"Mero, daaaarling! Oh, how have you been all this time?"

"I was fine until I came home..." He said with a very snarky tone.

"Dear....." Warned Jaya.

"Oh, no worries Jaya, Mero can't help it. Being unemployed leaves one with a lot of time on their hands and leaves them with a sense of bitterness. He can't help making jokes like that."

A look of pure revolt crossed Mero's face. "I am not unemployed, I'm a fisherman." He said with an acid tongue.

"Oh yes, yes." Said Ara. "That whole fish business. I'd hardly call that a job, dear."

"Oh yes? Well then I suppose I should get a job like your husbands. Sit around all day and drink, read the occasional proposed law, and occasionally collect taxes. Lotta hard work in that job I'll bet." Mero was thoroughly mad at this point.

Ara gave him the evil stare, the one your teacher used to give you when you'd done something very bad. But she responded quite calmly, saying: "Well at least Taran makes a difference in the country. You drag up smelly sea-creatures and try to sell them."

"I feed the families of Adrianople! Your husband taxes them!"

"Well yes," she said nonchalantly. "It is all for the greater good. Fishing on the other hand, is left to be determined."

Mero had had enough. He stormed to the kitchen door and called out to the children, who had not yet returned. Jaya simply rolled her eyes and went to get the dinner and put it on the table. The children came in, laughing and giggling like pixies. Col and Colin(twins) quickly removed their shoes and sat promptly at the table, looking quite famished. Nira, the daughter and oldest of the children, entered more discretely and politely sat at the table. She looked astonishingly like her mother; brown hair, hazel eyes, and all. The twins however, looked like a couple of adorable little sprites, bent on mischief. They had jet black hair, and startlingly blue eyes. They also had freckled that dotted their faces, around the eyes and nose in particular. Mero asked his kids about what they did that day. His daughter said that she hadn't done much and she left it at that, but the boys had things to say.

"We played Adventurer in the forest!" Said Col, who was the youngest by two minutes.

"Yeah," said Colin, "we pretended we were the Great Heroes and we were exploring! Like the old times, we were Jadon of Pelopenaera and Allosarys. Our friend Aeris was the Gwai."

"Gwai are very dangerous," Jaya joked. " Forest Lions with wings are never a good thing."

"Don't be silly dear," said Ara in a very matter-of-factly tone. "Gwai are hardly dangerous, seeing as how they don't exist."

Mero was about to say something to this when his dog started to bark loudly. He knew that his dog only barked that way when a stranger was approaching.

"What is that infernal racket? Honestly, you have to get that mutt of yours trained, dear." Said Ara.

Mero swiftly got up and moved to the door. He grabbed his bow and arrows and slung them over his shoulder. He then proceeded to grab a pitchfork and a torch. He lit the torch and cautiously stepped outside. There was a cool breeze blowing, making the trees dance with the wind. He could see to the West some last tinges of orange and yellow, surrounded by a purple haze. The trees seemingly black against the sky. He grabbed his dog and put him on his leash. The dog was now barking furiously now. Beads of sweat started to dot Mero's brow. He did not know what was out here. He called out to the darkness.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

A twig snapped from somewhere in the brush.

"Acacian guards are nearby, and they will arrest you, so you'd better leave before it's too late! Else I set my dog on you!" The dog was becoming harder for Mero to control, for it was becoming more and more excited by the stranger's presence. "This is your last chance! Now show yourself before--"

A coughing, spluttering figure stumbled from the brush and fell to his knees.

Mero, being the kind soul that he was, dropped his pitchfork, and went to help the stranger. He saw by first glance that he was a Redarkana(a term used to describe black people). He could tell by the dreadlocked hair and brown skin tone. He helped him to his feet. Somewhere in between coughing and spluttering, the stranger managed a thank you. Mero quickly rushed him into the house, where the welcome was less than friendly...

"Mero, what in the name of Romm do you think you're doing?!" demanded Jaya.

"By the Gods! Your husband has gone mad Jaya! It must be that fishing business of his..." screeched Ara.

"Cool!" chorused the twins.

"May I be excused?" asked Nira.

"Kids, go to your rooms. Now!" Demanded Jaya. The children obeyed.

"Jaya," said Mero. "Get me a glass of water and a towel." She walked swiftly to the kitchen and returned. "Thank you." He said.

"I told you marrying a fisherman was no good. But does anyone listen to little old me? Of course not! Fishing...All that salty air must affect the brain..." ranted Ara. "I told you should marry a business man, but noooooooooooooo. You just had to marry a fisherman. Now look what's happening!"

"If you're not going to help," began Mero, "at least go upstairs and check on the kids."

As she went upstairs, she said: "Fishermen! Crazy lot, they are..."

Jaya told Mero to lay the stranger down on the couch. As they turned him over onto his back, they both gasped in shock.

It was Dael Nazcavar.

He did not look anything like his statues or portaits. Lying in front of them was not the strong, brave, indestructible and beautiful hero they had heard about. Before them lay a man; wounded, dehydrated, tired, dishevelled and weak. Drenched in water, he was coughing and spluttering like a man who drank wine too quickly and in a very peculiar manner. He had what looked like an arrow wound in his hip, and his clothes were ripped and burned in several places. He barely had energy to move. Much less maintain consciousness. He could barely speak. Their hero seemed extremely vulnerable right now. And it scared them. He had been their hope, the hope of Archenland. He had performed feats that no one else could, and now here he lay, broken and weak. They heard footsteps. But these footsteps seemed hurried. And they were getting louder.

"Quick," said Mero. "Put him in the closet."

"They're looking for me..." Said Dael, with an ounce of fear in his voice. "I have to get away from them!" He struggled against Mero and Jaya but they kept him restrained.

"Calm down!" Hissed Mero. "You're safe here. We'll hide you." And without one more word, shoved Dael into the broom closet. They could hear the snapping of the underbrush in the nearby forest. It suddenly changed into the thud of earth and swishing of grass. They were out on the fields. Mero and Jaya began to hear voices now.

"He's got to be around here somewhere!"

"Kun, take Maer and Harweth. Search that part of the forest over there!"

One of the commanders shouted: "Lieutenant Araway! Any sign of him in there?"

A distant voice returned. "Nothing out here sir!"

"Damn! Koi, take Karan and Jain down to the coast. My group will search this house up ahead. THE REST OF YOU SPREAD OUT! IT IS VITAL THAT WE FIND HIM!"

And five seconds later, all the doors came down with a crash. Jaya screamed. Suddenly, six soldiers in black armour were all over their house with readied bows pointed at them. The commander of this group stepped through what had been the back door, and uttered his most sincere apologies in the name of the Emperor at the damage done. It was evident that he was the commander, as he wore the gold insignia plate of a commander on his right shoulder.

"In the name of his majesty, Emperor Colin Durnamys; Serpent King, keeper of the Staff, Guard of the Black Gryphon, King of Anvard and Keeper of Archenland, I request your assistance in the hunt for a fugitive. By the Emperor's decree, Dael Nazcavar is under arrest for treason against the Crown. Punishable by death. Did you hear or see him pass by here?"

"No sir. Haven't heard anything all night."


"Nothing," Mero repeated. "What is his crime?"

"That is for me to know and it is no business of yours." Said the Commander. He added: "Who are you?"

"I am Mero Orista. I'm a fisherman."

A voice came from upstairs. "That's not a real job dear," said Ara, almost singing it. Mero glowered up the staircase. The Commander drew his sword, and two archers followed him.

"Who's up there?"

"My kids and sister-in-law! Please put those away!"

"We need to investigate." And with that, he marched up the stairs followed by the archers. The four archers who remained, we're unwavering in keeping their readied bows pointed at Mero and Jaya. Mero heard a cough come from the closet behind him. His eyes widened and he began to sweat. A guard had heard the cough. He signalled for the other guard to cover him. He slung his bow and proceeded towards the closet.

"Citizen," he said. "I need to inspect that closet." Mero coughed on purpose, in vain to try to cover it up. The guard pushed him aside and opened the closet. All he found was some brooms, buckets, and a few cloaks and jackets. Little did he know that if he looked up, he would have found Dael Nazcavar. The guard gave Mero a look of deep suspicion. Just at that moment, the Commander returned from upstairs. Followed by Ara's shrill cry of: "You see what trouble that fishing business of yours has gotten you into Mero?!"

The guard who had inspected the closet approached the commander and told him how they had not found anything on this floor. The Commander responded by saying that they had not found anything upstairs either.

"Well," began the Commander, "we found nothing here. He must still be out there. We will regroup with the rest of the patrol." He turned to Mero and Jaya. "His Majesty appreciates your cooperation in this endeavour." And with that, he and his troops left. After it was clear that they had gone for sure, Dael burst out of the closet, gasping for air. Jaya helped him to his feet.

"Thank you madame," he said. And as he looked up, he saw that Mero had drawed his bow and readied it. "What are you doing?" asked Dael.

"What have you done against the Crown?"

"Nothing," replied Dael. "Merely angered a corrupted individual to the point of assassination. The government is corrupt, and I tried to expose that. When I did however, I was made a target. And this is the result."

Ara descended from upstairs. "Is that fiend gone yet?" she asked. Upon seeing that it was Dael Nazcavar, she clasped her hands to her mouth and screamed: "By Romm, it's the Sojourner!" Dael gave a heavy sigh. He never liked it when people oggled at him wherever he went.

Jaya interrupted: "Ara, Dael. Dael, ara." Now that you're acquainted, let's find out what has happened here. Surely there must be some misunderstanding. And Mero, please but that away." Mero lowered his bow.

"Now then," said Jaya. She turned to Dael. "Take off your shirt."

Dael looked up bewildered. "What?!"

"You are wounded," she said. "I need to dress your wound. Now tell us what happened."

So Dael lay down on the couch, and began to tell his story as Jaya dressed his wound. The others listened attentively to the story of how Dael Nazcavar, Archenland's Hero, became a fugitve of the law.

Author:  Arctic_Menace [ Sat Apr 01, 2006 9:25 am ]
Post subject: 

I'll take this long silence as a "no".

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