"I Hate Everyone . . . Starting with Me" said When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything�s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action . . . . I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don�t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don�t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing �Mr. Lonely.� I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonc�s.
(Godspeed to her.)
RIP.
RIP
Joan Rivers regrets that she died because right now she'd like to tell me to go fuck myself.
RIP Joan
When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything�s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action . . . . I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don�t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don�t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing �Mr. Lonely.� I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonc�s.