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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2023 9:44 am
 


I had a maths teacher say to me that I was average. But that's just mean.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2023 10:11 am
 


I tried donating blood again. So many damn questions!

Who's blood is is? Where did you get it? Why is it in a bucket?

Bla bla bla.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2023 10:37 am
 


I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.

She seemed surprised.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2023 7:45 am
 


That Russel Brand thing totally surprised me. Did y'all know he was a comedian?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2023 10:09 am
 


Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show that stupid road-kill that it CAN be done!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2023 11:17 am
 


It helps me to think of the autocorrect feature in my phone to be a little elf who is really trying to help, but is too drunk.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2023 7:19 am
 


I tried blindfolded archery over the weekend. I had no idea what I was missing!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2023 11:11 am
 


Due to high food prices, the 5 second rule has been lengthened to 10 seconds.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2023 7:56 am
 


Penguins produce a natural oil that they apply to their feathers to keep the waterproof while in the cold waters.

The Oily bird gets the warm.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2023 11:19 am
 


Porn has given me an unreasonable expectation of how quickly plumbers and delivery drivers will arrive.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2023 10:19 am
 


My friend spilt coffee in my car. What the best way to get blood out of leather?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2023 11:19 am
 


Mars is the only known planet to be inhabited entirely by robots.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2023 11:57 am
 


I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2023 11:33 am
 


A shark can swim faster than a human, but a human can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon it comes down to who's the better cyclist


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2023 9:02 am
 


Eli Lilly is developing a new vaccine. It's called 'Elektalibrl'. Side effects may include catching a woke mind virus, and reduction in carbon taxes on heating products.


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