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PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2023 9:30 am
 


Since 2019, no child born in Canada has been named 'Karen'.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:58 am
 


The furniture store salesman told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, “Where am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2024 2:25 pm
 


I looked through hours of commercials, and didn't see a superb owl. [huh]


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2024 11:23 am
 


"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.

She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2024 11:35 am
 


A contest is held between the FBI, MI5, & KGB to see who can find a cat fastest. The FBI agent returns with the cat in 4hrs. The MI5 agent in 3hrs. The KGB agent returns in 24hrs, but with a dog. "What happened," they ask, "and why a dog?" The dog shouts, "I'M A CAT! I'M A CAT!"


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2024 6:26 pm
 


Watched toast won't.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 28, 2024 10:35 am
 


How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle its balls.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2024 2:32 pm
 


Lost my job as a stage constructor.

Left without creating a scene.


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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2024 7:58 pm
 


If God wanted us to fly, she wouldn't have given us Air Canada.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2024 9:20 am
 


Went to a restaurant called 'The Manhattan project', and I'm the bad guy for asking if it had a fusion menu.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2024 10:29 am
 


Should've ordered fission chips!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2024 7:23 am
 


Two chemists walk into a bar.

First one says "I'll have H2O please."

Second one says "I'll have water too."

First one leaves as his assassination attempt failed.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 04, 2024 8:34 am
 


Nigel Farage walks into a bar. He asks the Barman for a beer. Barman pours a beer, then soaks Farage with it.

"Why did you do that?" Farage asks, soaked to the skin.

"Because this is a metaphor on asking for something and not stating how you want it delivered, you tosser."

"I am still thirsty, so I want another pint, this time in a glass." He says.

"No, you can't ask twice" the Barkeep says.

"Why not?" Farage asks.

"Democracy" he is told.


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