[Heavy_Metal]

Ahhh the Catholic faith, with all its falsities, rhetoric, and straight up BS has FORCED my Finance and I to go to a two day ‘Catholic marriage prepitory class’. Soooo two days and $175 later, not to mention gas and timmies, all we have to show for it is a crappy piece of paper and…..yeah…a crappy piece of paper.

There was absolutely nothing of value that came from this, for us at least. We have been together for 7 years and living together for 5, we’ve been through just about everything. So there we were sitting at the back of the class, yep we do that….yep we do that….yep all ready doing that….blah blah blah.

I think the most distressing thing that came out of this was the ‘sexual relations in a Christian marriage’. They had some lady, no not a doctor or sex expert, just some lady stand up there and fill these poor bastards heads with complete BULL S*IT! I got kicked so many times by my Finance for laughing I still have a bruise. Here’s a taste of some of the garbage she was spilling:

did you know that for every year a woman is on the pill…her uterus ages one year?
Condoms are known to fail more frequently when the woman is ovulating.
And the piece de resistance….you don’t have to penetrate to impregnate a woman (no she wasn’t talking about artificial insemination).

Those were the best ones I heard between howls of laughter.
I figured the older members knew better, what really bothered me is there was a few young couples there, like 18-20 who looked like the ‘ol God fearing type, if they take this nonsense to heart there is going to be some problems.

Then finally a dekan comes up and does a slide show of the ‘sacrament’ of marriage. He blabbed on about how God intended for people to be married starting with Adam and Eve, and how people of different religions or of the same blood can’t be married etc etc. Which touched on my favorite contradiction of this faith, if Adam and Eve were the first humans….theeennnn we are all technically related through the subsequent incestuous relationship their children must have had to keep the race going. But of course I wasn’t able to grill him on the many logs of BS he spat out, because when it came to question time….ohhhh damn….we are out of time…sooo I guess your all just going to have to take my word as the WORD OF GAWDAH halijulia!! WHOLEY F*CK.

Just a long crappy, useless, expensive two days…and people wonder why I think organized religion is a f*cking waste of time.

[mtbr]

so if you're both so much against it all, why are you getting married in a Catholic church?

[Brenda]

Because, mtbr... that is the only way to go if you are religious, and have to keep your parents happy...

[martin14]

or the new wife is my guess

[bootlegga]

Hey HM, they've got to pay for those gold candlesticks somehow...

[dino_bobba_renno]

Strange story, it doesn't cost a cent to go through the marriage thingy (what ever they call it) in my parish. Another option open to you is to just go and get married by a justice of the peace some where nice and then have the marriage blessed at the church, same difference.

[Brenda]

What if they want a big church wedding?

(just don't get married, same difference )

[Heavy_Metal]

mtbr mtbr:

so if you're both so much against it all, why are you getting married in a Catholic church?

I was more against the price and the bs they spouted.

alot of it was truly useful and would have saved my finance and I alot of arguments in the past. But like i said we've been living together for 5 years now and have everything more or less under control..until the kids come

I am getting married in the church because it is my right as a Catholic.

[Heavy_Metal]

dino_bobba_renno dino_bobba_renno:

Strange story, it doesn't cost a cent to go through the marriage thingy (what ever they call it) in my parish. Another option open to you is to just go and get married by a justice of the peace some where nice and then have the marriage blessed at the church, same difference.

yeah, we want it in the Church we grew up with, very nice building, be a great back drop for the pictures.

[Heavy_Metal]

bootlegga bootlegga:

Hey HM, they've got to pay for those gold candlesticks somehow...

heh yeah and the two story, three car garage houses for the clergy

[dino_bobba_renno]

Brenda Brenda:

What if they want a big church wedding?

(just don't get married, same difference )

Well if they want a big catholic wedding then they can go through the big catholic catechism course. Being catholic isn't like being a member of a fan club or something.

I haven't ever run across anything like he's describing but ever parish is a bit different and it depends on how old school the priest is. My priest is fairly liberal so maybe that's why we didn't have to go through that kind of greef (or pay money for that matter).

Our courses didn't even touch on the sex thing. It was more about the commitment end and about giving us a heads up on the "if you think things are tough now, just wait until your married" type issues. They talked about the importance of communications and did some problem resolution exercises. That and they stressed the importance of bringing our kids up in the faith it that was the route we were going to take.

[Robair]

Can't call bullshit, I wasn't there. But something is kind of smelly.

I've never heard of a charge for the marriage course, it doesn't cost anything to get married in the Catholic Church. There was no sex ed in the course we took.

A JP will marry you no questions asked. The Catholic Church asks questions, and in the course, makes sure you ask each other questions that you may not have thought about.

That's about it. As far as my experience anyway.

[Chumley]

Heavy_Metal Heavy_Metal:

did you know that for every year a woman is on the pill…her uterus ages one year?

Hahahahaha! Love that one!
So if she isn't on the pill, her uterus will stay young forever?

[Brenda]

Chumley Chumley:

Heavy_Metal Heavy_Metal:

did you know that for every year a woman is on the pill…her uterus ages one year?

Hahahahaha! Love that one!
So if she isn't on the pill, her uterus will stay young forever?

Ever watched "18 kids and counting"?

[Ripcat]

Chumley Chumley:

Heavy_Metal Heavy_Metal:

did you know that for every year a woman is on the pill…her uterus ages one year?

Hahahahaha! Love that one!
So if she isn't on the pill, her uterus will stay young forever?

It causes facial hair too. Just spend a Sunday at church and you will see.....