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- How to Read a Dog Show Advertisement -
Category: Other Jokes
From: Hester
Author: Unknown
Added: January 10, 2006
Modified: January 10, 2006
Views: 2253
Votes: 2
Rating: 0



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How to Read a Dog Show Advertisement:
THE QUOTE................ THE TRUTH
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Noted Judge ............He put up our dog

Respected Judge .........He put up our dog twice

Esteemed Judge ..........He puts up anything that crawls

Shown Sparingly ....... Only when we had it in the bag

Show Prospect .......... He has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 tail

Finished in 5 shows.... And 89 where he failed to win a ribbon

He has good points..... His head is shaped like a carrot

Won in heavy competition..The others were revoltingly overweight

Multiple group winner.... At 2 puppy matches

Specialist Judge ........ Puts up anything that looks like his own breeding

Well Balanced ......... Straight as a stick, front and rear

Quiet gentle natured ... After 4 valiums

Excels in type and style..However, moves like a spider on speed

Personality Plus..........Wakes up if you put liver up his nose

Large boned...............Looks like a Clydesdale

Good bite ................Missed the judge, got the steward

Lovely head.............. 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth, 1 nose

Excels in movement .......If he gets loose, put on your running shoes

Gorgeous Coat.............If the hairspray lasts until the class finishes

Handled brilliantly by....Nobody else can get near him

Won in stiff competition..Beat 4 puppies and a 9 year old novice dog

At stud to "approved" bitches....Those bitches whose owners check is "approved" by our bank

Linebred from famous champions....Ch Whoozitz appears twice in 6th generation

Good Obedience prospect...Smart enough to come in from the rain but he's UG-LEEEE

Terrific brood bitch......Her conformation is the pits, but she throws big litters

Great stud dog .........Mounts anything that can fog a mirror

Loves children .........For breakfast, lunch and dinner

Wins another Best In Show....His second, under the same judge, our uncle






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