[wildrosegirl]

I thought this was cuter'n hell.


The rules of Rural Alberta ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Listen up City Slickers!



1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy 1 goes east and west, Hwy 2 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $365,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Alberta waves. It's called 'being friendly' . Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Alberta Hockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the
Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. 2 inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.

[bootlegga]

[ziggy]

You forgot a couple

That sloop shouldered farm boy you laugh at has done more work by 5 am then you will all week.

Our grain fed woman are just that and will kick your ass.

[wildrosegirl]

ziggy ziggy:

Our grain fed woman are just that and will kick your ass.

[ziggy]

proudcanukchick proudcanukchick:

ziggy ziggy:

Our grain fed woman are just that and will kick your ass.

There's another version called welcome to Alberta and one for Saskatchewan too.

[wildrosegirl]

ziggy ziggy:

proudcanukchick proudcanukchick:

ziggy ziggy:

Our grain fed woman are just that and will kick your ass.

There's another version called welcome to Alberta and one for Saskatchewan too.

Yeah, I've seen quite a few of these. First time for this one in particular.

[Pimpbrewski]

And here I was planning on going to Alberta in a Maserati to go meet some women at a sushi restaurant.

[ziggy]

Pimpbrewski Pimpbrewski:

And here I was planning on going to Alberta in a Maserati to go meet some women at a sushi restaurant.

When you hit the border they will store your car and give you a big ass 600 HP diesel 4x4 with a 135 gallon fuel tank,14 inch lift kit and huge mudders to drive.

Goodluck with the Sushi bar.

[Hyack]

Pimpbrewski Pimpbrewski:

And here I was planning on going to Alberta in a Maserati to go meet some women at a sushi restaurant.

Keep going another 1000 kliks, there's a place called Richmond, it's right on the Pacific.....y'all might have better luck there, might not even get shot at!

[ziggy]

We need some new one's.

That Christmas tree you see in my backyard? It's really an oil rig,get used to it,we drink oil here.

[Pimpbrewski]

Alberta sounds like a pretty cool place.

I like trucks. Also consider a good steak to be a good 'ol meal. Although, not sure where Richmond is, but I could go there in my truck to see how it is.

[Alta_redneck]

While you city people are stopped on the QE2 because of that accident up ahead, we’ll just sneak pass you on the shoulder, cause once we get up to that overpass or intersection, we know that we only have to drive no more than a mile east or west to find another road going north and south.

[wildrosegirl]

Pimpbrewski Pimpbrewski:

Alberta sounds like a pretty cool place.

I like trucks. Also consider a good steak to be a good 'ol meal. Although, not sure where Richmond is, but I could go there in my truck to see how it is.

Richmond isn't in Alberta, so it just doesn't matter.

[QBC]

I think most of those rules are for all rural Canada....

Too cute!

[mtbr]

Pimpbrewski Pimpbrewski:

And here I was planning on going to Alberta in a Maserati to go meet some women at a sushi restaurant.

You can buy a Maserati here if you like.

http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/new ... 71e80ea24e