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Posts: 42160
 Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:25 am
Famous people answer the age old question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with his problems on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after his problems on the "OTHER SIDE""of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road ..
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. Probably.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes, and in the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me what direction that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken - cross the road? Did he cross it - with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road - but why it crossed - I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken is gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: In a few moments, we will be listening for the first time,that same chicken tell us, in its own words, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens .... It's easy, if you try ..... Crossing roads, together .... Hoping not to die ..... Imagine all, the chickens .... Crossing, roads, in peace ....
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2000, Vista Edition2.1, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras ... #@&&^(!
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
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Posts: 42160
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:30 am
Mario and SprCForr were biking through a park, looking for cake, when Mario noticed that SprCForr had a new bike.
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, eating some cake and minding other people's business, when a beautiful young woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, stripped off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"Good choice," said Mario. "The clothes would have probably been a poor fit anyway."
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Brenda
CKA Uber
Posts: 50938
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:32 am
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Posts: 11907
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:41 am
To join the RCR. 
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philowl
Junior Member
Posts: 62
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 3:06 pm
Top notch humour if you're British
Top notch humor if you're American
Top notch humer if you're illiterate
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 4:31 pm
2Cdo 2Cdo: To join the RCR. I thought it would be to get away from them!
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Posts: 14063
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:00 pm
Why did the chicken cross the mobuis strip?
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:21 pm
OK, I'll bite.
Why?
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:50 pm
Bump for the answer!
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:55 pm
Blue_Nose Blue_Nose: Why did the chicken cross the mobuis strip?
was to get to the same side 
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:57 pm
That only happens if it was move along it.
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:02 pm
I googled it.
A. To get to the other...ummm..
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Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:04 pm
Great now im gonna have to think harder on that one 
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Posts: 42160
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:08 pm
Blue_Nose Blue_Nose: Why did the chicken cross the mobuis strip?
To fill its Klein Bottle?
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Posts: 11108
Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:15 pm
This is an oldie:
What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack-o-lantern and divide it by it's diameter?
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