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Memory Troubles

Posted on Saturday, November 18 at 01:50 by Subsandwich

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Memory troubles

The trouble with memory is that I don’t have any. 

Of course this is stretching the truth most times, but some days I think my memory has gone by way of the spam filter on my e-mail.  Think of this way, somewhere along the line of aging, I find myself reaching an empty black vault for something I need to retrieve for that second – someone’s name, a password, or an item on a mental to-do list. 

Most of my memory problems are short-term; that is what someone has told me a minute ago goes out the chute to the garbage bin as soon as I hear the words.  Okay, so some of it is considered selective hearing; you know the kind, Mom what’s for supper: Hon, did you see my hat; or can I borrow twenty bucks….

Some things I want to forget – on purpose – like who I voted for and didn’t win, a life’s most embarrassing moment, or a stupid thing I said accidentally on purpose. 

The trouble with memory is that I need it at very important times; for instance, remembering the boss’s name when I’m first introduced, my husband’s birth date, paying an important bill, or my pin number.  The trouble is I cannot live without memory.  Even my computer needs memory to survive.

There are many reasons for memory loss or memory manipulation.  Women conveniently forget their ages at certain stages in their lives; men may exaggerate the size of the fish they caught last weekend, kids may act dumb when you ask them if they forgot to clean their bedrooms.  “What bedroom!  I have a bedroom!”

Despite the fun things I can do with memory, I need it for a lot more than remembering the last play in a card game.  Memory is important to daily living - now where did I put those reading glasses; I’m sure I saw a twenty dollar bill somewhere in my purse, or I know I left my car keys in my old pair of pants – without memory we’d lose living the game of life.

As I get old I can make use of bad memory by forgetting things I hate to think about or as Friedrich Nietzche put it, “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.”  That’s me folks.

You know, even politicians enjoy bad memories:  one, when they’ve forgotten to keep a promise; two, when they hope against all hope voters will glance over past mistakes in a new election.  If the politicians can endorse lousy memory, so can I. 

The trouble with memory is that I don’t have any.    Oops, I think I said this already.

End.

By Suzanne Berton ©

Kingston, Ontario

http://www.artabus.com/berton/
http://www.geocities.com/sumemere/SuzanneBertonsCaricaturesindex.html
http://www.artmajeur.com/suberton/



Comments

  1. Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:07 pm
    When I read this, my first thought was, "Ohmygawd that's me!" I have "memory issues" all the time! And, like the author, I have this thing with my memory taking a vacation right when I need it the most - like when I have to remember my password for my bank card while a bajillion people are standing in line behind me, impatiently waiting (and muttering - I'm sure I've heard death threats once or twice, but I can't remember) to use the machine. It's embarrassing, to say the least... and frightening, to say the most. I'm not even in my mid-forties yet, and my memory is failing me. I hope I don't forget my own name at some point. Now that would be REALLY embarrassing...

    Anyway, this is a great article, and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope to see some more humorous looks at aging in the near future. :)

  2. Sat Dec 09, 2006 7:04 pm
    I was going to post something but forgot what it was. 8O

  3. by avatar xerxes
    Sat Dec 09, 2006 7:18 pm
    I'm kind of like that too. I can remember a lot of obscure, esoteric information,but i still forget more relevant things (birthdays et al) all the time.

  4. Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:36 am
    We started taking Omega 3-6-9 complex a couple of months ago, and it does seem to help improve memory functions. Of course, I've been writing everything down that I have to remember for probably the past four years, now, so it's hard for me to know for sure if it's the Omega complex that's helping or not. :lol:

  5. by Banff
    Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:51 am
    damn I can't remember where I'm from or what my user name is .

  6. Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:55 am
    "Banff" said
    damn I can't remember where I'm from or what my user name is .


    This is a perfect example of why you should write these things down, Banff. :lol:

  7. Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:21 am
    I have several valuable bits and pieces hidden away in secret hiding places which I can't retrieve as I can't retrieve the memory of where it is stashed.

    It is locked securely in my head. The neurons have quit communicating. Writing down where I hide stuff defeats the purpose of hiding it, unless I hide the note too.

    The best method of remembering something is to attach a mnemonic to it. For instance if you hide your silk bra in the oven stub out a cigarette on one of your boobs.
    The burn will associate the oven with your silk bra.

  8. Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:27 am
    HAHAHAHAHA! Oh yeah, and while you're busy burning yourself so you can remember where you hid your silk bra, how about doing something really crazy, like writing a note on yourself about where you put your keys - and then hopping in the shower?




    (Okay, okay, I admit it: I've done just that! )

  9. Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:38 am
    8O :D

    That is why they make permanent ink pens.

    Staedtler Lumocolor sticks like poop to a blanket. Near as good as a tattoo.

    But where on the bod is there enough room to write:

    "36 paces from the fig tree due north. 6 more due East. Locate the third brick on the retaining wall. Pry it loose. Take the floopy disk wrapped in purple plastic and read it into Microsoft excel. The 44th line will indicate where your keys are."

  10. by avatar Hyack
    Sun Dec 10, 2006 8:58 am
    I was going to make a comment on this........but I forgot what it was!

  11. Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:04 pm
    "Istanbul" said
    8O :D

    That is why they make permanent ink pens.

    Staedtler Lumocolor sticks like poop to a blanket. Near as good as a tattoo.

    But where on the bod is there enough room to write:

    "36 paces from the fig tree due north. 6 more due East. Locate the third brick on the retaining wall. Pry it loose. Take the floopy disk wrapped in purple plastic and read it into Microsoft excel. The 44th line will indicate where your keys are."


    ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL

  12. Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:05 pm
    That's why I suggested to Istanbul that maybe writing things down might be a good idea. :D



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