[Erinites]

http://www.vhfcn.org/ridehuey.html

[BeaverHatsAreWarm]

When is it bed time a Michael Jackson's never land ranch??











When the big hand touches the little hand..

[Erinites]

Politically incorrect....



But...


MFAO!!!!!!!

[xerxes]

Here's a good one...

A woman was drving down the highway one day..............that's the joke.

[Ulidian]

My Girlfriend told me this one...its sexist towards men...well actually its kind of true...

Q: Why are men such assholes?

A: Cause their obsessed with asses & holes!!!

[canadian1971]

A Canadian couple was delighted when thier long wait to adopt a n ewborn baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that they had a wounderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses/ After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "Whatever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so, he will start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."..........i know i know....

[Dan74]

This guy is driving over a bridge and see's his girlfriend about to jump off.
He pulls over and yells
"Susan what the hell are you doing?"
She replies"I sorry Gary,I do like you but I am pregnent and can't deal with it."
He looks at her and says
"Hell,not only are you a great lay but a hell of a sport too."

[brewtus]

[font=Comic Sans MS] [/font]
Date Rape Warning

WARNING!!!



Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers, and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market, called "beer," is used by females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form, and is now available almost anywhere. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers," men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking "beer," men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

[ofaolain]

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed.

The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He thinks about it for a bit and then says, "Well, you seem to have perfect eyesight!!!"

[ofaolain]

ROFLMAO

[DMP08]

Those are awesome. Hopefully I can remember the last one well enough to tell it tommrow.

[-Mario-]

[ofaolain]

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency:

Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'help you," replied the Prime Minister.

"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"

"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.

"Oui?"

"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton.

"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan Condoms.

"I need a favor, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send 'dem to Hamerica."

"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.

"Great! Now listen, dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yah," said the Prime Minister, "an' print 'MADE IN CANADA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one."

[-Mario-]

I would have went with... size: Small

[canadian1971]

The Best Pub in the World
>> > >
>> > >A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander
>> > >were sitting in a bar in Toronto. The view was
>> > >fantastic, the beer excellent, the food
>> > >exceptional.
>> > >
>> > >"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still
>> > >prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a
>> > >wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes
>> > >out of his way for the locals. When you buy four
>> > >drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you."
>> > >
>> > >"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local
>> > >in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you
>> > >your third drink after you buy the first two."
>> > >
>> > >"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back
>> > >home in Sin Jahn's there's the Codfish Bar. The
>> > >moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you
>> > >a drink, then another, all the drinks you like,
>> > >actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks,
>> > >they'll take you upstairs and see that you get
>> > >laid. All on the house!"
>> > >
>> > >The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout
>> > >down the Newfie's claims, but he swears every
>> > >word is true.
>> > >
>> > >"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious.
>> > >"Did this actually happen to you?"
>> > >"Not me myself, personally, no," admitted the
>> > >Newf. "But it did happen to me sister quite a few
>> > >times."