[commanderkai]

Alright...well...to keep as much privacy of the people involved as possible. A few months ago, I met a girl on a chat site. She basically had one of these feelings (like a gut feeling) about me, and really wanted to talk to me, so we did. Maybe a week in, she told me that she was a recent (like, within the past few weeks) rape victim.

Of course, I was quite upset, and I told her to go to the police and such, but she didn't. Well...more she went, but didn't tell the real reason why (she said she was being stalked by the attacker). Anyway, she covered up the whole telling the police thing. (Edit, until the beating, in which she told me she lied about the investigation after saying she told the cops)

Two weeks ago, she was brutally beaten by the same guy, and this time she actually DID go to the police. And such, he was arrested for the assault (I think there wasn't evidence for the rape, since the pregnancy was miscarriage, and she didn't go to the hospital for a rape kit).

Anyway, today I heard he killed himself while awaiting trial...and...I really can't say I feel bad. I feel bad for the parents (she was close to the parents) but....I kinda...didn't care. Like a good riddance type feeling.

Anyway, honestly I'd probably discuss this with my parents, but, they're off towards Montreal, while I'm supposedly studying for an exam. What do you guys think?

[Bruce_the_vii]

Ugh. All round terrible story. Myself, I don't see you should care a guy died.

[hurley_108]

I'm a bleeding heart leftist, but I can't say as I fault you for having no sympathy. I find it hard to have sympathy for people who kill themselves in the first place in most cases, let alone combined with the fact that they're rapists and woman-beaters.

Don't beat yourself up for not feeling bad.

[poquas]

You feel what you feel. In the same circumstances, I expect most would feel exactly the same way you do.

I’ll toss in one caveat to this whole thing though. If the girl you’re talking about is still “virtual” (haven’t met in person yet), some of your feeling may end up being misplaced. What you know about her is only what she has told you. Any bias is hers. The internet is great for meeting people. It’s terrible for knowing people.

Talk to your parents. Face to face time (especially with family) will usually help you reconcile why you feel the way you do and put it to bed.

[commanderkai]

I've actually been starting to talk to her siblings and parents, they mention some of these things as well. After a while though, yeah I'll probably go see her.

Anyway, yeah, it's just a strange case, no doubt. I dunno, it seemed cold of me, if that makes sense. Probably because it happened like, on Good Friday.

@ Lily, yeah, basically. Honestly, don't be too surprised about it, there's comfort in a calming voice that you don't know. This isn't the first time, and I don't think it'll be the last. Basically, I'm the opposite of those stories you hear on the news of the kids cheering on a suicidal kid to kill himself on camera

[snuggles61]

Are you bad for not being upset about this? News flash dude, You'd be bad if you were upset. This guy was a waste of oxygen and women are safer now that he's dead. Just my personal opinion but I think this girl had rocks in her head for even letting escalate to the extent it did.

[Bodah]

First. You didn't know the guy.

Second. He beat and raped women.

No worries.

[ShepherdsDog]

It's the internet. You talk to this person over the net and that's about it. It's impossible to develop a real relationship, unless it's with a real flesh and blood person. No shared experiences excludes this person from being a friend, they are just an electronic entity you are on friendly terms with.

While rape is something that shouldn't be taken lightly, do you have any way to prove that this person was an actual victim and anything else they told you? For all you know this could be completely contrived.

Today people seem to have a difficulty discerning needs from wants, as well as friends from an acquaintances.

[commanderkai]

snuggles61 snuggles61:

Are you bad for not being upset about this? News flash dude, You'd be bad if you were upset. This guy was a waste of oxygen and women are safer now that he's dead. Just my personal opinion but I think this girl had rocks in her head for even letting escalate to the extent it did.

Agreed, (and she knows it too) but I guess the issues about reporting events like this still linger. I warned her something like this would happen, but meh, she didn't listen.

@Shep

Well, I read about the arrest when I looked at the online version of her local newspaper...so I don't think it's that big. Anyway, yeah, there's always a risk of her totally bullshitting, yet this risks stays in face to face relationships. I think there's a generation gap between parents and kids with the Internet. Or maybe we're more trusting. Who knows? I just have good senses when people lie to me. At times I can read people's moods better by the way they type instead of their facial expressions.

[commanderkai]

I think it's not that I'm not upset, it's more that I was happy about it. Meh, just been confusing to me after a few weeks of total hell in my life.

[Bruce_the_vii]

I figured out that emotional responses need some editing, they are necessarily too bright.

[danimal]

This sounds like a whole lot of baggage you stumbled upon my friend. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if I were you, you had no control over the situation or his actions. You did everything you could just by listening to her and suggesting she do the right thing. That is a terrible situation none the less and I wish this girl all the best.

[commanderkai]

danimal danimal:

This sounds like a whole lot of baggage you stumbled upon my friend. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if I were you, you had no control over the situation or his actions. You did everything you could just by listening to her and suggesting she do the right thing. That is a terrible situation none the less and I wish this girl all the best.

Thanks, and yeah she's doing better. I think her wrist healed recently.

[romanP]

If there is one death penalty I will support, it's voluntary suicide.

[commanderkai]

lily lily:

hey kai.... you redded danimal's post.....

I fixed it for you.

Yeah I know, I PMed an apology too, kinda kicked myself in the ass for it, and thanks. And Roman that's the most right wing thing you said, kinda. Lol